"USE ME"

From a young age I was taught that if people were ugly to me, I should seek them out and attempt to win them over by being kind. While this is a nice thought, it is certainly a gateway for others to tread on your soul…

And they did - making me so physically ill that I could not attend the last three months of school in 6th grade. 

In high school I learned to ignore those few extremely mean-spirited persons in my grade, but I still did not stand up to them. 

In the past, I have lent certain persons great amounts of money which was never repaid. And when they came back the second time with the same sad story, I lent them more. The third time they asked for more money, I apologized for not having the money. Apologized! Reflecting back on the situation I feel really used and stupid. 

I don’t know about you. I don’t know if you have always known that you were worthy of respect and decency because many Christians think that being Christ-like is letting people walk all over them. 

Many Christians feel that in living like Jesus, they should permit others to mistreat them and not say a word. In an effort to be more Christ-like, they are over-loving, over-generous and over-patient with the people who are continually using them. I know this because I was one of them…

When I was much younger, I worked at an organization where my boss misappropriated funding that I had raised for years in order for me to work full time helping at risk youths. He took the money, put it in his account and used it for his inflated salary and for expensive personal items.  

When I discovered this and tried to address it with him, he would cry and tell me sad stories about his childhood and family. When I finally went to the board, he lied, and I was reprimanded publicly for “not going directly to him” even though he and I both knew that I had multiple times. 

Again, I didn’t speak out loudly enough or stand up to the board member who wrongly rebuked me. Ten years ago, working at another job handling people’s money, the truth was finally revealed, and he went to the penitentiary. 

If I had stood up loudly with righteous anger in front of the board would this have happened? It’s hard to say. 

I’ve lived in chaotic situations where I was mistreated and not given a voice - feeling helpless, small and forgotten. 

But I did have a voice. I just didn’t know how to use it. Because during all of these times I felt that Jesus would just suffer in silence, so I did too.  

I knew these words of Christ in Matthew but didn’t know how to apply them to my own life concerning bullies or selfish, manipulating people with evil intentions.

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore, be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” (Matthew 10:16) 

Is it possible to be wise as a serpent AND gentle/harmless as doves? 

Yes. Jesus was certainly both. 

He stooped to love the little children, heal lepers and love the lowliest of people. 

But what many Christians may not realize is that Jesus, after experiencing the truth about the selfish, hypocritical actions and motives of the political, professional, religious leaders of that day, called them out. And not so “nicely and quietly.” 

“You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You burnish the surface of your cups and bowls so they sparkle in the sun, while the insides are maggoty with your greed and gluttony. Stupid Pharisee! Scour the insides, and then the gleaming surface will mean something. You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you are saints, but beneath the skin you are total frauds… Snakes! Reptilian sneaks! Do you think you can worm your way out of this? Never have to pay the piper?” 

(Matthew 23:25-28,33 Message Bible, note: Message Bible is not a literal translation. I read the King James and New King James) 

NOTHING weak about Jesus here. He didn’t soften the blow. He didn’t whisper. The many leaders in the temple could hear and so could all the people. 

YES, there are situations where we NEED to call out wrongdoing and evil loudly and with force!

The big difference is unlike Jesus, we cannot see into the hearts of others and therefore cannot judge another person’s heart. 

But we can call out stealing, lying, mistreatment and other actions directly to the person. 
And if their actions do not stop, we can call them out in front of others.

We are NEVER taught by Jesus to “be nice.” We are taught to love. And to forgive. And to love and forgive certain people, we can also hope to never see them again. 

That does not mean that we wish ill towards others. 

God tells us to be as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves. Loving all – avoiding some, and if needed standing up to others. 

He also tells us to guard our hearts with all diligence. In other versions it is translated, “Above all else, guard your heart…”

“Keep (Guard) thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23 KJV)

It has taken me almost 52 years to fully realize that I am worthy of respect and decency in all relationships whether professional or personal. In knowing this, I am finally able to guard my heart in one way by not simply “taking it” in silence. 

While there is a time and a season for everything and silence is sometimes the best option, God will prompt us when it is time to speak out and even take action against evil doings. 

But the best way to guard our hearts is to honestly ask ourselves if there is any way that we have wronged another person – therefore wronging God.

Have we selfishly lied to others and perhaps even to ourselves? Have we gossiped and unknowingly spread lies? Have we claimed more hours than we really worked? Have we used our ability to communicate in order to make someone else feel small? Have we thought ourselves more important than others?

Acknowledging, admitting to God and others and then correcting our own issues is paramount in having a pure heart. And a pure heart is helpful in order to know when to confront others.